Inday strikes

Hello…

Amo: Indaaaay pakisagot nga ng telepono bilis!

(iniwan ni inday ang kanyang winawalis at patakbong pinuntahan ang telepono)

Inday: helo? helo?

(patuloy sa pagsagot si inday nang hindi niya nalalaman na baliktad ang pagkahawak niya sa telepono. )

Inday: helo, helo, helo?

Amo: Inday! baliktarin mo!

(pasigaw na pagsasabi ng kanyang amo)

Inday: Lohe? lohe? lohe?

Restaurant…

Waiter : Ano po order nila maam?

Amo: Ung fried chicken meal na lang. Ikaw inday,ano sayo?

Inday: I would like to partake of a dish of sautéed pork and chicken,boiled in thick essence of soy and cane extracts,with copious amount of garlic, onion and laurel,sprinkled generously with fine spices and served with generous helping of root crop and a helping of rice.

Amo: Iho, paorder daw ng adobo with rice

Mamamalengke… (basahin ni French diction para mas effective)

Amo: Inday bumili ka nga ng mga isda.. o nga pla inglesira ka… would you please purchase many fishes for our this week’s meals?

Inday: Judging from your statement I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term “fishes”, although rarely and even erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traveresed the road to the wet market would be: What certain type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day’s catch? (Pauses) Aaah… by manner of careful extrapolation, given the meager budget in this household’s quasi-peasant middle class taste, I assume then I will source the staple “galewng-gowng” . Am I correct?

Amo: Leche!

Inday: You meant the freshwater milkfish? Then the “ba-ngooz” is it!

Degrading value

Amo: Inday, bakit mo binenta yung sirang silya?

Inday: i have computed the chair’s fair value less cost to sell, and the value in use using projections for 5 years and a pre-tax discount rate. accordingly, the value in use is lower, so i decided to sell the chair. this is in accordance with PAS18 on Revenue, PAS16 on PPE, and PAS36 on Impairment of Assets.

An Affair

Sir : Inday, wala ma’m mo dun tayo sa kwarto..
Inday :What..?! are you nuts…?! For your information sir, I intend to reserve my virginity for the person I truly love! If you think Im easy to get cheap slut, we’ll you’re barking at the wrong tree! And will you please act like a professional because youre sooo Eeeewww…If I hear any filthy words coming from your mouth, I will not hesitate to take legal action!
Sir:Leche…Maarte ka…!!!
Inday: Joke lang…Sir naman.. Tara na sa taas..

Ang pinakamatinding kalaban ni Inday…
TUMAWAG SI PACMAN..

(Pacquiao’s calling)

Inday: Gunaydin! (Good morning in Turkish)

Pacquiao: Hilow! Is Mr. Montinigru ober dir? I want to jas know ip can he be here to catch me in di ring por di fight? I can be winning. Im not to be in di lose.

Inday: ha? (nosebleed)

-na knockout sa Inglis ni Manny! Sa wakas natalo rin si Inday.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: